just a story

You heard her say it. You can pretend, with the jokes and the...

Fri, 31 Aug 2012 10:42:42 +0800

You heard her say it.

You can pretend, with the jokes and the bouncy house and the gifts and the cake that you didn’t hear her words, but you’re only fooling yourself. Something you’re actually quite good at, but not this time. You know those words exist. You even curse your great storage of a memory, because not only do you know of their existence, you remember the exact words, the way her face moved as she said it, the way her voice sounded, the pain and the hurt so evident in her eyes.

She was talking to her father and it was to him that she directed those painful words. You make excuses that she couldn’t possibly be talking about you. But you knew better, that’s the problem with being a hysterical deducer. You know things, you deduce things, whether you want to or not. This time it was her father who had lied to her, and you knew that if she knew about you, then you’d be hurting her in the exact same way.

You didn’t mean to. It’s not as if you started Psych with the intention of lying to her, specifically. Ok, yeah, you had every intention of lying to the whole Santa Barbara Police Department, but was it really your fault that Juliet became a part of said department?

Hmm, now that you come to think of it, yeah it was your fault. And now you’re cursing your memories again because it refused to make you forget how you pretended to be a psychic to save yourself. One thing led to another and one of the final results of your antics is Lassie’s old partner being replaced with Juliet.

Okay, so maybe it’s your fault that she moved here, but was it your fault that you fell in love with her? You still have a hard time saying it; you’re far from the emotionally stable and fully committed (though, unfortunately with the complete lack of several important inhibitions) that is ‘Last Night Shawn’ who asked her to move in with him. But of course that doesn’t change the fact that you do love her; it’s just not your fault you can’t properly say it yet.

Just like you can’t admit to her that you are in fact, not a psychic. But that’s not your fault either, right? Besides, it’s not just your secret to keep anymore. It’s unlike any of your other jobs, where you can just leave at a moment’s notice. It’s not like those times at that restaurant or any of the restaurants you’ve worked for, or several other get rich quick schemes you have pulled way back when. It’s quite unlike before when the only one who would suffer when you decided to bail would be yourself. With Psych, you’ve dug yourself far too deep into a hole that you’ve end up dragging and pulling others in with you as well.

You’d have to think of Gus, your best friend. He’d be an accomplice to a crime, and he’d never let you hear the end of it if you somehow managed to completely tarnish his spotless record. He might even have to attend court and spend some jail time. You’d have to think of Henry, your father. How could he be trusted ever again by the police if it was revealed that he’s been lying about you all along? He would most definitely lose his job, and what are you going to do when you have to share your Xbox with him again?

You know you don’t want any of that to happen, but you’re wrestling with yourself about what you should or should not do.

You know you can’t tell her that you’re not a real psychic. You know you want to tell her everything, from the very beginning. You know you mustn’t reveal your secret to her. You know that you’re going to have to tell her someday if you want your relationship to last longer than a Twin Peaks marathon. You know it’s going to break her because of how much she trusts you. You know that it’s the right thing to do, and that you really should not be lying anymore. You know that you can’t tell her, not now, not yet, and you don’t even know if you can ever actually tell her.

…

“Hey, what are you all talking about?” she inquires with a smile, curious at what you and her father are talking about. It seems almost ridiculous, the fact that you and her father have so much in common, including the ability to potentially break her heart. The only difference is that she knows about her father, while having no idea about you.

“Gifts and cake,” you lie, “Which one you wanna bust out first?”

“Cake!” the father and daughter chorused, and you retreat behind the smiles and the lies once more.

janajee: Ten Crossover Crack!Ships (No Order) // Willow and Sam...

Tue, 06 Sep 2011 00:03:00 +0800

janajee:

Ten Crossover Crack!Ships (No Order) // Willow and Sam (Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Supernatural)

In one of the many schools that Sam Winchester went, Sunnydale High was one he won’t forget. All because he met her. She was sweet, quiet and smart. Sam wished he got the chance to talk to her, but the opportunity never came up. It didn’t help that they left only after a week, but still he wished he got to know her.

The next time they saw each other, they were both so different. She hardly remembered him, and he the same. Except Sam felt connected somehow, to her. Even when he realized that she was with another girl, Sam felt drawn to her. Maybe because he could see what other didn’t notice. He saw the good intentions, he saw the power, and he saw the addiction.

When Tara died, Sam saw her lose it, just like he almost lost it. When Xander saved the world, Sam saw her get saved too. He wished he was a part of it, but he was always watching from a distance.

Two years later, they meet again.

“I never forgot about you, Willow” Sam said, smiling.

“I always saw you, Sam.” Williow replied, blushing.

Too Late. Review?

Thu, 25 Aug 2011 00:05:00 +0800

Title: Too Late
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Pairings: No Main Pairing; Buffy/Spike, Willow/Tara
Warnings: None
Timeline: Season 7 – Before Chosen
Rated: General Audiences
Wordcount: 903
Chapter: One (Completed)
Summary: Spike says goodbye to a friend. Someone whom he wished he could have gotten to know better.
Beta: let-the-sunshinein, jambobuleh, thesparkinme, juliajoy8 (Thanks, guys!)

Spike never did get to say goodbye to her.

First of all, he didn’t really know about it until it was far too late. He was already halfway to Africa by the time she died. He could not possibly have known. Even if he had, he was too busy fighting for his soul to feel pain for anyone but himself.

Then when he came back, he was busy being crazy. He was living in the basement of the school. Too busy to really give a moment’s thought to her or anyone else for that matter. Too many of the people he had killed were already shouting for his attention. A thought about another dead girl was not going to enter his mind.

But she did show up, as did Joyce. That was when he realized, in his own crazy way that she too was gone. The First used their faces as another way to drive him crazy. But that’s all they were at time; just faces. Two in the sea of people that he knew were dead. Some he knew and cared for, but mostly just people that he had killed.

Then he started leeching off Xander Harris again.

With all the free time he had, he never thought to visit her grave. Most nights, when the First wasn’t having its way with him, he was too busy trying to contain the crazy. No one would blame him if he never thought of her, or anyone else. Except for Buffy, he always made sure he thought of Buffy. He would think of how he hurt the person he loved the most, how he lost the trust he once had from the slayer and the Scoobies. The only time he gave her any thought was when he realized how she would probably hate him too, if she had lived long enough to discover what he had done.

After a while they found out, the Scoobies. They found out how he was being used by the First. He did not have the time to feel sorry for anyone when already he was too busy feeling sorry for himself. He insisted that he be chained, just to be sure. When chained, he could not go about wherever he pleased, so he could not hurt people. However, it meant he had a lot of time to himself again. His body might have been chained to a wall, but his mind was free to wander. Sometimes when he’s all alone in that basement, he thought of all the people he cared about that were gone. He thought of his Mum, he thought of Joyce, he thought of her.

He thought of the time he punched her to prove that her family were making up the crock story about her being demon. He thought of the time when she lost her mind for awhile, and exposed him to sunlight accidentally. He felt bad for Willow, and he felt sorry for her then. He thought of her words, when she learned about his relationship with Buffy, which made him chuckle. He liked girls with sass, and that girl had lots of it.

He promised that when he managed to get the control he needs and frees himself from The First’s hold, he would make sure to visit her, just like he visited Joyce.

But the thought soon left him; the First got a more literal and physically painful hold of him.

As he was being tortured, he did not have the luxury to focus on a lot of things. Spike could only focus on Buffy and her promise. He trusted that she would come for him. Because of that there really was no place for anyone or anything else.

When Buffy came for him, she glowed, and he glowed in response. His world revolved around Buffy once more because he was right. He believed the right thing and he believed in her. There was no space; there was no time for thoughts to dwell on anything else, on anyone else.

No one would take it against him for not thinking about a friend, right?

It happened on one of their regular teach-the-potentials nights at the cemetery. It was his turn to do the rough and tumble routine. He taught them how to fight, how to react, how to deal with a vampire who was stronger, faster, and so much blood-thirstier than they were.

When they were headed home he noticed the headstone. He stood still for a minute when he read the name. He finally stopped and thought of her then. She was a witch who died of natural causes. A soldier who fell too early. Someone who never really had the chance to fight back. A friend he never really took the time to know. She was always one of the decent ones. The ones who treated him right and proper.

He took a moment to stare at her grave.

“Spike?” he heard Buffy’s voice, calling out to him after awhile. She questioned him, wondered why he stood so still. There was a slight fear in her voice, a slight insecurity that the First had gotten hold of him again.

“Yeah, I’m coming!” he shouted back, assuring Buffy that he was fine. Then he turned his attention back to the headstone where the name of a friend was etched in rock.

“Goodbye, Tara Maclay,” he whispered and walked away.

Horses and Cars. Review?

Tue, 23 Aug 2011 09:16:00 +0800

Title: Horses and Cars
Fandom: Psych
Pairings: Shawn/Juliet; Juliet/Declan
Warnings: None
Timeline: Season 5 (Between Ep. 09-Ep. 10)
Rated: General Audiences
Wordcount: 1098
Chapters: One (Complete)
Summary: In one moment of confusion, Juliet kissed Shawn. Gus wants to know what happened. Declan knows something is wrong. Henry overhears a conversation. Buzz just wants to help out.
Beta: tenciudado, littleboycat, hannibal-clockparts, maddie-son (Thanks guys!)

Shawn was quiet in the car.

That, in itself, was short of a miracle. Being bestfriends since childhood, Gus knows it takes something really big and important to quiet his spontaneous bestfriend. For someone who has the focus of a photographic genius, Shawn certainly had the attention span of a child with an extreme case of ADHD. For him to stay quiet for this long, especially after passing several food stalls, well something must have happened back at Declan Rand’s place.

“Want to eat at Red Robin?” Gus ventured.

“Huh?” Shawn replied, snapping out of his reverie.

“Red Robin, you and me, food for a job well done?”

“Sure.” Shawn only said, sinking back into his thoughts.

Gus is a patient man. He can wait, and in fact he’s gonna be so patient he’s gonna be going all stealth on this one. Shawn Spencer better watch out, the Jackal switch is on, and the Jackal is going to find out what happened.

***

Declan knew something was wrong the moment he came down those stairs.

First of all Juliet was never really that much of a liar. Second of all, even if she was, no one could really lie to Declan Rand. It always came with the territory of being pretty much a genius observer. He built his whole wealthy empire on knowing the right things, and right now, he knew something was wrong with Juliet.

So Declan knew what he needed to do.

He watched as she assembled and disassembled her sidearm over and over again. Deducing that she was stressed, he tried getting her something calming, something like tea. She turned it down, but she did give him a smile, strained though it may be.

“How about we go out for a spa day?” he asked her, trying to wane her distress, and there’s nothing more relaxing than a whole day at a spa. They could get double massages and spa baths. He knew a place, well actually he owned a place.

But again, all he got was an apologetic no, and the same strained smile.

By the end of the day, she remained introverted, mostly staring out the window, and he had ran out of ideas. Though admittedly, he could not understand why she did not like any of them. He had great ideas, and he was quite proud of one idea where he would be holding a short notice concert for her of her favourite band. Same no, same smile.

He’d give anything for her to talk to him, right now.

“Declan, we need to talk.”

He should be happy. It was, after all, something that he had hoped for just a minute ago. But something about her tone, and her strained painful smile, well something about it scared him. Scared him because he knew something bad was gonna happen, and he knew there was nothing he could do to stop it.

“It’s not you…” she started, and he could already feel his heart breaking.

***

“She kissed me Gus,”

Henry furrowed his eyebrows. Shawn should really not place his phone in his back-pocket, if he kept butt-dialling people all the time. If it was anyone else, Henry would have had the common courtesy to just hang up, but this was Shawn. He was lucky if his son called him for anything other than a case. Plus, as a father, he had a right to know about his son’s life.

And so he kept listening.

“What? When did this happen?”

“Back at Declan’s. When you were bidding for that hotel thing in Italy, she kissed me.”

The eyebrows furrowed some more. Obviously, Shawn was talking about Juliet. But as Shawn told Gus everything that happened, Henry couldn’t help but feel a little warmth in his heart. Shawn was obviously in love, and Henry liked Juliet. She always seemed like decent kid, down to earth, and a very hardworking detective.

But then Shawn started talking about Declan.

Again the elder Spencer frowned. He knew that Juliet was dating Declan, and hearing from Shawn’s words that Juliet is going away for two weeks with the fake criminal profiler, did not sit too well with Henry.

“I have to do something, Gus. I just can’t let her go like this, I have to show her much I care about her. I have to tell her what she means to me before she goes away with Declan. I’m thinking, I gotta wow her.”

Henry agreed and he made a mental note of telling Shawn what he thought about it the next time they meet.

“So I’m thinking, Blackened Bayou Burger?”

“You know that’s right!”

Henry suddenly felt the need to hang up.

***

“Good morning, detective.” Buzz greeted the blonde detective who appeared in front of him.

“Hey, Buzz,” she returned, a preoccupied smile to her face. “Listen, I kinda need a favour.”

“Anything for the lovely Ms. O’Hara” he said, genuinely happy to help out in any way. He liked helping people. That’s why he got into the police business. To help people in need. That’s what Officer Buzz McNab is for. The helping of the people.

“Have you seen Shawn?” she asked suddenly looking around the station.

“Nope, he hasn’t been around yet.” Buzz replied, still with a smile on his face. “I can take a message. I’m really good at those, at the listening”

“Oh, no,” she shook her head vigorously, “It’s alright. It’s no biggie.”

“Are you sure because I can write really fast and he’s sure to get it,” Buzz said so enthusiastically that it’s really a wonder how Juliet was able to resist.

“It’s not really something you pass to someone, you know?” Juliet resisted. “But thanks though, really. I do need you for something else though,”

“Oh alright, so what can I do for you, madam?”

“Can you help me update my passport?”

***

“He’s not going anywhere now, not until they eliminate him as a murder-“ Carlton Lassiter probably had said more things and in the back of Shawn’s mind he’ll remember the words but all focus was gone from the older detective.

Because all he can see is Juliet.

Juliet did not like this Canada trip. Mostly because she left so much unfinished business back home. She could not wait until they could finally extradite Despereaux. Something they cannot do because now, he’s apparently wanted for murder, whilst still being in jail the whole time.

That is until all she could see was Shawn.

Juliet needed to talk about a kiss, and Shawn needed to tell her about a car.